1842-1914, American Author, Editor, Journalist, ''The Devil's Dictionary''
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
Ambrose Bierce – [Congress]
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
Ambrose Bierce – [Marriage]
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Ambrose Bierce – [Vanity]
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
Ambrose Bierce – [Thoughts and Thinking]
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Ambrose Bierce – [Forgiveness]
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Ambrose Bierce – [Certainty]
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
Ambrose Bierce – [Planning]
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
Ambrose Bierce – [Trials]
Truth — An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
Ambrose Bierce – [Truth]
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
Ambrose Bierce – [Politicians and Politics]
When in Rome, do as Rome does.
Ambrose Bierce – [Cities and City Life]
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Ambrose Bierce – [Wit]
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a ''joke.''
Ambrose Bierce – [Jokes and Jokers]
Woman absent is woman dead.
Ambrose Bierce – [Absence]
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